So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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