Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
