Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's just like the Real World with babies
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
