So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
did you just send me my own nude
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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