But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
