I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
