We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
