We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You've changed since you got that strap on
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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