Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
