There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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