ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
