u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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