Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
