a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
