I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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