It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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