Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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