his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
