Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Don't EVER smell your tampon
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
