You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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