Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
