Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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