ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.

  Fav 5 876 2706

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

  Fav 11 885 3260

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (416): View more from Ontario

  Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

  Fav 10 1367 3432

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

  Fav 1 1864 1195

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY

  Fav 3 2801 829

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.

  Fav 28 1887 918

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  why would you automatically assume i'm high...

  (240): View more from Maryland

  you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.

  Fav 3 2195 803

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.

  Fav 8 1230 1057

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

  Fav 13 2219 861

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

  Fav 20 1403 3279

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.

  Fav 7 1049 608

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse

  Fav 2 474 1175

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.

  Fav 2 718 523

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."

  Fav 2 306 553

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way

  Fav 0 140 103

  share tweet
  

Randomize