The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
