Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
