why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
