Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
