youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
