Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
