just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
