god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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