So drunk its hurt
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
