Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
