at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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