Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
