So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
