MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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