I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
