remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
