I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
