i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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