i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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