i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
