You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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