Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
