Just fell off a train. Bad.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
