Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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