Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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