When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
