Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
