Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
